John was my Hero / Ethel Romig (Friend and admirer )
John (he still lives but in Heaven)is like a diamond, a very complex and one of the multi-facited man I have ever known. I am a good friend of his wife Mel. I probably know more about John now than I did while he was on this earth. What I did know of him I was incredibly inspired. I like John have brain damage and Mel and I would often laugh about some of the things John and I would do. Mel is the only friend that truly understands the complexity of days where you just cannot connect the dots.
I came to know John and Mel through serving as a volunteer at the Salvation Army. I feel sad to say that during our time of service I got to know Mel better than John. I think of the first time I met John was when He came after we volunteered with these beautiful
Minature roses the stems were cut very short but John presented them in a gracious and poetic kind of way.. I thought to myself this is Mel's husband? Mel is kind of down to the earth kind of lady (I have come to know she is more complex too).
Then he shows up one day at the Army with a Tai-kwando uniform. Knowing little about the art. The little I knew then was the Karate kid and from that I knew it required
a tremendous amount of concentration and balance. I thought being brain damaged myself I thought well isn't that nice he is using this as some kind of rehabilitation therapy.
Mel talked very little about his accomplishments. One day she told me he was at the time the World Champion. Remember it was just 2001 that he had his accident and had to pretty much learn how to do things over again. It was then I began to get a glimmer of his incredible tenacity and never give up attitude. I was just beginning to recover from a long illness that left me mentally impaired. I understood on his part what it took for him to regain his abilities to perform at those levels. After John moved to Heaven, I went to a tournament with Mel. It was incredibly awesome. I wish I could have seen John compete. The best of the competitors were not only graceful but when they would go through their forms they were scarry. This gentle and well spoken man was capable of doing this. Under all that gentle and poetic spirit was a lethal weapon held in check by a loving , spirit of God filled nature.. Amazing.
Next, I went to their home to see John's first showing of his paintings. I thought again isn't this nice he is using this as some kind of therapy. My husband and I will go but honestly I didn't expect much. I am sure if you could see a picture of my face
I was totally floored. His florals you could almost feel the delicate texture of each petal.
His landscapes were breath taking. I have a picture that I took that evening to frame. I had begun framing and hand painting mats and embellishing them in unique ways. I since then have felt paralyzed that I could ever frame it to do the picture justice. I have had so many ideas and have purchased so many things over and over again. My fear of framing that picture morped into some kind of giant . Knowing John he would not have cared how I had framed it. That picture represented so much to me as a person who has brain damage. It even meant more when I saw his first painting. This man had genius ability put part of that came from once again his constant practice and bull dog tenacity to keep getting better and better even though he had handicaps. I am still paralyzed to frame that picture. The supply's to do so keep piling up.
The same way I felt about the picture, I also felt about writing this message. How would I ever be able to portray in words the complexity the tenacity of a man that was an inigma to me. A man that I so greatly respected. I have rehearsed many times in my mind what I wanted to say and yet could not write it. It would not do him justice. I had brain damage.
This morning as I laid in bed thinking and praying for Mel . Of course the picture and this message came to my mind and now I had two things now that had morphed into something that I was terrified to attempt. However, this morning there was a little voice that reminded me "being afraid of failure never stopped John from any thing he tried to do
he would just try that much harder" I realized many of John's accomplishments came from just that kind of attitude. It gave me courage to write this. I once was a very good writer but if I didn't try like John has and not be afraid of failure - the brain damage will have won. Thank you John for whispering in God's ear this morning to speak to me to never quit. The only loser in the race of life is the one who does not pick them self up and brush themselves off the ground after they have fallen and keep running.
A word to Mel: I don't think any of us that know and love you can understand the depth of your pain and loss. Sometimes it's scarry because your pain scares us and we have always known the optimistic Mel who has had great courage to live her life. Mel John still lives and you know that and John is in Heaven I think saying don't give up Mel -look at all we have been through together, many times you were the arm I leaned on.
Mel you have that gift! Although, John had to fight very hard to regain what he had lost he kept trying. My friend it would be easy right now to just give up and become a bitter young women. Dear Mel, the day John went to heaven he handed you the tourch to inspire people the way he did. It is not a job I would want and through all John's trials you probably know better than anyone it was not a job he wanted either sometimes but he did it.... magnificently. This life is so short compared to eternity and knowing you like I do when John meets you in Heaven he will say " I never stopped watching you and you did a great job honey, I am proud of you" and God will nod His head. Just like John could not do all he did in his own strength but through Christ's. One day you will feel the same great power that propelled John to do all that he did. Just remember dear Mel the beattitudes say "blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted" I Love You both, Ethel
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